Franny Goes to War/Transcript
Stephen: Captain, our men are dropping like flies! Matt: I'll be darned if we lose another battle to these Frenchies. Stacey: Well then, what shall we do, captain? Stephen: We can't keep going on in this poor fashion. Jason: Did somebody say "fashion"? Matt: Oh no. Jason: I say, captain, it looks like we're in a bit of a squirmish. Matt: It's called a skirmish, Francis. Jason: Oh, please, call me Franny. Matt: Just take this and shoot anybody wearing a blue coat. Jason: I'm afraid this is all rather new to me. Matt: Just take it and pull the trigger! Jason: Like this? Jason: Do you think he's alright..? Well, he was wearing blue! Ugh! How frightfully filthy this wall is! I say is this my strawberry jam? I told you all not to touch it! Stacey: Oh no, Franny, I think it's blood. Stephen: No, no, it's jam. That's my fault. Matt: Okay, enough. Soldiers, this is a war. Now, you can either stay on fighting it or you can go home and eat your jam while the French blow us to smithereens. Jason: Have you ever considered talking to them? Most men prefer civilized conversation to this barbaric name... Stephen: He has a point, captain. Stacey: Perhaps we could host a party. Jason: Then it's settled. Matt: No, don't you understand! These men are here to kill us! Jason: Oh! Matt: Franny, where did you get that? Jason: I always carry extra bottles of the bubbler wherever I go. Matt: We've been rationing stale bread and drinking from rain puddles for the last six weeks and you brought champagne! Jason: Yes, and I would have had some jam, had it not been recklessly spoiled by our comrades. Besides, I've already sent out the invitations. Matt: What? Franny, where did you get the materials to make these? Jason: I took those ghastly top secret transcripts you asked me to deliver and turned them into decorative invitations. The lace actually comes from bandages I stole from those poor chaps over there. Hello! Matt: What? Jason: Oh captain, I've sent out dozens of invitations to our enemies. Stephen: Presenting Monsieur Le Monde of the Second French Bettalion. Matt: What are you doing? Stephen: Captain told me- Franny told me it was vital to the ambience of the party. James: Bonjour Franny! Jason: I say, monsieur, seeing you changes this boorish affair into a lively fiesta. James: Eh, oui. Jason: Ehehehe. That is the sound of a fiesta... so I'm told. James: Je ne sais pas! (I don't know!) Jason: I'm so glad you and your men could make it to this party at the trenches. James: Eh, merci. (Eh, thank you) Jason: It will be the social event of the war! James: But I'm afraid I can not stay too long, Franny! The war and all. Jason: What a pity. James: Eh, oui. Jason: What do you think we can claim this land for our own? James: Oh, is that all your Brits are fighting us for? I thought you might want to kill our families and take our cheese! Jason: No, no, not at all. We just wanted this field for Britain. James: Of course, of course. Oh, Franny. My wife and I, we miss your wonderful visits. You must come by the cottage sometime. Jason: Oui! James: Here is my war schedule with all the times and dates and places Napoleon will attack, no? Jason: Get out! James: You really must come by. Jason: Bless you, monsieur. Au revoir. James: Au revoir! Don't touch me! Jason: I say this warfare thing is rather fun. Adam: Captain... Jason: Oh! At least we'll have plenty of strawberry jam. Too soon? Category:Season 2